Path To Power

Pretty awesome title, even if I say so myself! What is it though? Say I believe everyone has potential — who cares?! If people don’t utilize their abilities, then what’s the point? This, interestingly enough, brings me around to myself. Suppose I can do all kinds of things and start going around telling people all about how awesome l am.
I am a photographer!
l can build spaceships!
I once knew a guy who was famous… but that was only because he was my personal driver!
End every statement with an exclamation point!
I’m the greatest thing to happen on this planet since kids started dressing up like werewolves in high school! Ummm, not that…

In truth, we all have some area where we can be a standout and be awesome. Maybe it’s something that others think is boring but to us, it is our element and feels completely natural.

At a job I had once, I was supposed to sit in a room with a tv, surround sound system and watch videos of anime all day long. It was fun. I was good at this job, to a point, but apparently there were others who were more seasoned and had more experience than me. How? Was it their element? Gee, I don’t know. Maybe. I thought I had enough experience from my days as a kid and the Saturday morning line up I watched every weekend. I could even sing, “After these messages we’ll be right back” with perfect pitch.
Was that good enough?
Nope.
Really?
Sorry.

I once quit a job because I didn’t have time to go to the bank and cash my check after each grueling day of hard work. (ATMs were barely a thing then) I spent a week delivering furniture paired with a tall, wirey and angry man who swore his back was messed up but would dead lift a whole couch vertically by himself using his arms and twisting around to get it where he wanted in the truck. He would never drink water. Already had enough, he said. He had worked there for at least a few years and complained about the boss all day, hated the route we were assigned, said he would get fired if he reported his back injury and would constantly yell at other drivers while tailgating them in Dallas rush hour traffic. Did he ever find his element? I don’t know. I quit so I could cash a check that weekend.

As a kid growing up, a dream career choice was to build models to be used in movies like Star Wars and Star Trek. There was a magazine at school with pictures from the inner studios at Industrial Light and Magic. It described their model making, the process of using blue screen (before they decided green was better) and camera rigs to fly around the models and simulate flight. As I looked over the pictures of models, parts they used and various tools, I knew, that was my new element. I would make models for movies and that would be my career! Every Lego set, every fighter jet model, every little piece of assembled plastic was going to be my ticket into the big time. I learned to prep and paint them, even painted my Legos occasionally and would make huge messes in the house. A career in cinematic model crafting was as good as mine.

Then something happened. A movie, I think it was Jurassic Park, came out and revolutionized the way practical sets and models were used for film. Instead of using giant rubber dinosaur puppets to eat the actors on screen, they decided to use fully computer generated dinosaurs. While they still used practical pieces for close ups and certain interactions, the big sell here was seeing a giant t-rex in full stride chasing after that poor helpless family for its dinner. From that time on, every one knew, they could generate models with a computer and the visuals and graphics would be better than all those super duper models and miniature sets from previous decades. Better than all those hunks of plastic I had amassed in my bedroom growing up.

With my element disrupted, the new choice was clear. I took a stab at learning 3d graphics. Could this be my new element? One quick glance at the CGTalk forum submissions and I’d say no. I’m okay, but not amazing. Compound that with the astronomical pricing on the software tools and…

“Well, golly gee whiz there, bucko! Don’t hang up on your dreams!”

Not to worry, I haven’t. Thanks.

Art is subjective. People still use models for all kinds of things today and those hyper realistic CG graphics? Think Star Wars, the prequels vs Star Wars, the originals and that might say something.

And here’s another stray bullet point — Just because a person’s art isn’t on the same level as another’s doesn’t invalidate it’s value. Look and feel are so much a part of the fitness of a work as the technique. People are affected in different ways by different things.

Okay, so where does this tie into all the talk about talents and elements? Wasn’t there some sort of path in the title? Something about power? Where’s the goods, man?

Honestly, I can’t think of anything accept to keep moving. This blog has always been intended for my aural and visual compositions. A showcase with the hopes of attaining a better job or business opportunity. It has existed for several years but due to various life routines and experiences, as briefed earlier, not much has happened here. So this past month I started a few things to test myself. Just a post here or there but these past couple of weeks I have started to sense some momentum. Maybe I won’t be the greatest modeler, traditional or otherwise, but does that matter? I like drawing, painting, building, music, video, editing, visual effects, writing… but I have no recognition in any of those areas. Does that matter? Should I relent and say it never will, its too hard? Or, should I take a deep breath and just start walking? Maybe, if I start moving, it will grow.

But what if it doesn’t? What if it flops? Sure okay… That’s an option. Starting to not care about it though. How perfect I am or what others might think. This stuff just needs to come out. So it will. I’m only getting older. It’s all I have. Not perfect. Sure. A slow start. Perhaps. If sustained, it can grow and snowball or even turn into an avalanche.
*Avalanche, yay!

In all the years of my life, there have been various jobs, hobbies and pursuits to gain understanding, experience and better myself or talents. Sometimes, just to make ends meet. A search for that perfect spot where I could succeed and find my element. Right now, it seems like they have only afforded dead ends. In some places, I’m intimidated by the accolades of those who already do the things I want to pursue. They have already made it where I still have to climb a bit. There are worries. They could mock me. I’m not as good as someone else. What if my family disapproves? What if I’m not relevant enough, or edgy enough, or PC enough? What if the world hates me?

A favorite life analogy of mine is in the Biblical parable of talents in Matthew 25:14-30. These three dudes get a portion of their rich master’s stuff to manage and operate while he takes a trip out of town. Two of them ace the scenario and multiply their shares with profits. The third guy is an emo stress case who fears he’ll fail. So, that’s what he does. He fails. He buries the talent he was given fearing he wouldn’t please his master, and hides it for safe keeping. When the master finds him, he isn’t too happy with the guy’s weak portfolio so he takes the talent and promotes the other more successful two then gives him, the loser, the Donald Trump treatment, “Your Fired.”

So there. A path. Just do something that you can do and don’t worry about what other people think. Keep creating until you get better. Find the rhythm or flow. Keep going until it boils over and you become great. Whatever you do don’t bury it. Don’t let it hide in the ground where no one can see and grow old waiting for your chance and the right people to recognize it. It won’t grow there. You’ll wake up old and filled with regrets. Only in your hands with practice and diligence will it have a chance to be all it could. Maybe it could even be powerful.